It's June 3rd... What is going on?? Time to get real!

Ahhh.... I'm frustrated!!! Normally by now referrals would be out or at least RUMORED to be out but this month nothing concrete so far!!! It's driving me a little nuts. ME.. the one who has grown accustomed to WAITING with PATIENCE! Don't get me wrong, I still have patience and I still will wait but I just need to know SOMETHING!

Maybe it is just TODAY that is bothering me so badly. I am in my 3rd day of Summer School. I had one day to prepare and did not get my list of 450 students until the last three hours of work time on our "preplanning day". I didn't have kids on Monday but began with ever bit of effort in my body today. I'm working with teachers from all around the county that think I am also a trouble shooting technician... NOT!!!!! I was coping fairly well today until about mid-morning when a "group" of teachers decided to rearrange my schedule WITHOUT telling me. This in my #1 pet-peeve! I AM an educator who PLANS for her class as much as ANY OTHER TEACHER and this threw a curve ball in my plan. I had stayed late... worked at home for 2 hours to plan to TODAY'S classes. Needless to say, I was NOT a happy camper! I did make sure the teacher knew that I was irritated with THEM... and as professionally as possible let the kids know that this was NOT my normal routine. .... TIMEOUT... I'm teaching Summer School not because I need something to do but because I don't want some random teacher in my room messing with my stuff!!! I've been teaching 21 years and this is my 3rd summer school class with the first two being my FIRST TWO years of teaching.

I know I'm venting! Bear with me.

So after another hard day at work, I came home and laid in bed for a few hours just trying to relax. Tomorrow will be better... tomorrow will be better.... yes! And referrals WILL come soon!

As I laid in bed today I began to think about the YEARS we have waited. We have not taken a vacation since we began. Can I tell you how many vacation days Geoff has LOST in the name of "our referral will come THIS year"???? I don't need a fancy vacation... I just want to not plan our entire life around WHEN the referral will come. At this point, I'm REALLY thinking we should brace ourselves for a December referral and the dreaded trip DURING tax season. (The best thing here is that Geoff's new employers totally get it and will not balk if he is gone during the height of tax season... God bless them!!) This does hurt a lot. At this point, I'll be happy if I'm wrong.

So my thinking is that all of this AGGRAVATION of teaching summer school should fuel a much delayed vacation for us. I don't need a fancy long vacation.. just something beyond our pitiful little town and not a visit to relatives (no offense intended!). So we are on the look out for a place not too far from us but not too close either. Gas prices are KILLING everyone! I like the beach... Geoff likes the golf course. So where oh, where do we go??? Maybe a vacation and spending money that we SHOULD be saving for our adoption expenses will turn things around. We shall see.... and please CCAA PLEASE send some referrals!!! I am ready for some news. I don't care if it is ONE day of referrals as long as we see that progress is being made.

On another note... Sara, Chris and Brennen returned home yesterday from a week long trip to visit his family. Let me just say... Brennen IS NOT allowed to go away for another whole week EVER again. I missed the little guy so much!! He even cut his first tooth last week while away. Sara brought him to see me today at work during the height of the frustration of my day and I must say I now truly know what it is like to be ADD. All I wanted to do was scoup him up and kiss him all over! To my dear grandson's credit though, when I did have a "moment" for him, he gave me a KISS! He melts my heart like no other!