Monday, January 30, 2012

How do you really “catch up” when so much has happened?

I went through a period of at least 30 days with no posts.  It wasn’t because I was slacking, it was because we were busy going through trials of life. My last post in December was on the 14th.  One the 16th our Dear Nanny passed away.  We headed to Virginia the next week for the Memorial Service. We chose to leave Lexi with my parents because we just didn’t feel she was ready for that kind of loss in her life. Throughout the pain and loss I felt one of the proudest moments of Geoff in our life together now.  The proudest of all was when he became a Christian and was baptized even though he has a fear of the water.  His faith overcame that fear to make that public proclamation of his belief in God.   Following that is the day we took our precious Lexi in our arms for the first time and I watched him become a father and every since then I’ve been so blessed to watch him be a fantastic Daddy.  And following that was the day we stood before our family, friends, and God and became one in the eyes of God. ( I know to some that is backwards but it makes sense to me.) And now to add to my list, I have the day of Nanny’s Memorial.  He volunteered to speak.  He wanted to talk about their relationship, her relationship with God, and just try the best he could to bring others to understand that he could say a temporary goodbye to Nanny because he knows they will meet again in Heaven.  His wish for his family and Nanny’s friends was to feel that same peace even in loss.  I couldn’t be more proud of him.  It was a hard thing to do and yet he did it no matter how hard it was.

After we returned home it was Christmas Eve.  We tried to move into the holidays appreciative of our loved ones.  We did really well I think but then my sister Carolyn ended up back in the hospital on Christmas Eve with complications from her double mastectomy.  She was there an entire week!  And during that time Carolyn’s husband was sent to Texas for the last training before his January deployment to Afghanistan.  We did everything we could to enjoy every moment of the holidays with Lexi and enjoyed watching her enjoy her new toys and gifts from family.  All in all, it was a very nice holiday even though I was not able to post photographs and commentary as usual.  I can gratefully say Carolyn is doing better.  I know it’s been hard for Carolyn and John to go through cancer apart but somehow they are managing to do it.  That too is a huge blessing!

Then we began 2012 with no real expectations of anything other than our desire to be better Christians and raise our daughter the best we can.  We want and DO enjoy every moment with her --- good and bad --- silly and irritating!  Life just can’t be perfect all the time and we have truly learned that lesson.  What I do find myself doing more and more is praying with and for Lexi.  I also find myself enjoying the little moments and MAKING even MORE  little moments (like today, we made heart shaped mini pizzas for her lunch tomorrow just for no reason at all). 

I can’t even say that things in 2012 have been great.  I’ve had problems with my left shoulder for unknown reasons.  I spent the first two weeks of the year in severe pain and even missed most of the second week back to school.  It’s getting better and I can’t begin to understand why but it is getting better just as mysteriously as it appeared. But I’ll take that with a grateful heart.

And finally, two weeks ago we lost our dear Sable.  It was her time even though we did not want it.  I’d like to believe she is in Heaven playing and loving on Nanny with her new healthy doggie body just living it up watching us knowing that we loved her so much.  (even though I know there is no Biblical doggie heaven, I sure hope there is!) We didn’t know how to handle it with Lexi.  We waited for her to ask about Sable but she didn’t in the way we thought.  She proceeded as if Sable was still here.  If she had a piece of leftover chicken at dinner, she asked to give it to Sable.  She asked why Sable’s bed was in the garage and she even would tell us she wanted to go home to her Sable when we were out. So finally, I had “the talk” with her.  She has only now for the last 4 days shown understanding that Sable is gone.  At first I found this odd, but as I type this post I get it.  It’s not so real for me either. It’s not really real that Nanny has passed and it’s the same with Sable.  Sable has been with us our entire married life. It’s weird that I can now open the front door and not have to worry that she will run out and take off into the street with her deaf ears. And it turned out she was also blind.  She was a tough old girl and she’ll always be missed. 

I don’t know why I suddenly tonight I can  “talk” about all of this and I’ll admit it has been a sad walk through the last month but I blog about our life as a family to document, document, document for Lexi and while the past months have not been filled with all happiness and bliss, it is part of our life and at least we can say we have made it through it all TOGETHER as a family.  I think tomorrow I will try to make just a post of my favorite pictures of that silent month.  This post explains it all.  The pictures will be the final documentation and will show that we even through the face of adversity used our faith in God to get us through and leaned on each other as a family in such a way that we have grown personally and spiritually for the better because of it. 

Through the Grace of God… we are a family and I’m so proud of the family we are and will continue to be.

1 comment:

Melissa Sands said...

OMG! NO pictures! I need the cliff notes!