Sunday, October 23, 2005

Beware... I'm getting mushy!

This morning, we had a guest preacher, Dr. Chuck Lawless, at church. Many times in my life, I've felt the message given by the pastor was like an arrow into my heart and a window to my soul. It was like that for me today. He was here this weekend as the speaker of a "Spiritual Warfare" conference. Today he spoke of the many times in our life that we've been ready to give up and wonder if God is at work in our life. This touched me so deeply. I immediately thought of our experiences of trying to have a baby and then our adoption journey. This past summer, I WAS ready to give up and I really began to think that I was forcing the issue with God and that he did not have plans for Geoff and I to be parents together. It was then that he began to open my eyes and begin to reveal our purpose. Every since we have opened our hearts to adopting from China, the stars in our part of the universe seem to be lining up. I remember telling my mom when we went for the first IVF treatment, that it was faith issue and that I was praying that God would bless us with a child. Getting pregnant and then losing the baby was one of the darkest days of my life. I couldn't understand why God would allow such a thing but I tried so hard to use my faith to get me through. It was revealed to me later that the miscarriage was God working through a rough time to bring Geoff to him. He was saved and baptized about four months after the miscarriage. What a blessing! I just knew we were on the right track, doing the right things and following God's purpose. After the 3 more tries and many heartbreaking months, I was finally able to give up. This is when adopting came up. We felt maybe it work for us this way. Of course in my earlier posts I've revealed how frustrating that became. I guess the point I'm getting to is that God was sending a message again this morning through Dr. Lawless. I have to patient and let God reveal things in HIS timeframe and that YES, he is at work looking after us. I feel that this long process will result in JUST the right child that needs us. And we NEED her too. I've pondered the pastor's message all day and as I was playing around tonight looking into "all things China", I came across an online video. When I first started watching it, my first reaction was to think "oh no, not another way to trash the women in China" but as the video continued, It tugged at my heart especially when the child singing begins to sing "Jesus Loves Me". It made my whole day go full circle. The message this morning... the message in the video... all revealing to me Jesus loves a child in China who is meant for us.

To view the video go to this url-

And please, everyone continue to pray for us and our child.

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