Monday, April 09, 2007

My Revelation....

Late last week, the referral rumors heated up all over the Internet. On Thursday I discovered them and just about lost my lunch when I saw that most likely referrals this month will only be for 2 days. Yes. Two. After being upbeat about the wait and feeling good about my patience with the entire thing, my world came crashing down. I had to put in my mouth piece for my TMJ because I was immediately clinching. As hard as I tried, I couldn't stop the tears from seeping from my eyes. I haven't cried about our adoption in quite some time. This time I was just devastated. I questioned whether I was making this God's will or my own in that we adopt from China. I wondered if this newest delay was a sign from God. Yet, I just couldn't imagine our life without Lexi. I went through the weekend grateful that I had invited the whole family over. It was a great diversion. Then today as I sat around by myself because I have the day off and Geoff is at work in high gear for tax season, I ran across this.

I was sitting at the drive-through window at McDonald’s this weekend. I did the usual thing; I drove up to the menu and ordered. I proceeded to the first window and paid, then drove to the second window and waited for the order. After sitting there for a few minutes, the clerk slid back the window and asked, “Will you please pull over to the side; your order is not ready.” I was a little upset and even impatient, but I pulled over and waited. I thought, “How come other folks ordered and drove straight through and I have to wait.” I waited for another two or three minutes. It seemed like hours. Just as I was about to give up and drive away, the clerk finally ran out, tapped on the window, and handed me the order. Of course I asked , Hey, what took so long?” She replied, “You wanted the Special Sauce, which meant that it had to be specially made for the sandwich, it doesn’t usually come with that one.”

This scene is a reflection of our prayer life. We made our request to the Lord. Our menu is his word, where he has listed promise after promise. We stand before Him and request and plead and, sometimes, even beg.

We go to the first window and pay, sometimes with fervent prayer, sometimes with prolonged suffering, sometimes with obedience, and sometimes not at all. We then move to the second window and wait for our order. If God doesn’t answer within a few minutes, we become upset. You know the phrase, “Jesus, it’s 5:00 p.m. Friday; I prayed to You yesterday, and You still haven’t answered. I can’t wait much longer.” Why is it taking Him so long? I’ve seen people drive up before me and they received their orders right away! We even go so far as to tap on the window and ask if He has forgotten our order. We become impatient. We become upset. We become downright mad.

Lord, I asked for a mate ten days ago and I don’t see him/her anywhere.

Lord, I’ve been asking for a new job for two years; others have passed me by!

I’ve been waiting on a financial blessing for ten years; others have passed me by!

Where are You and why haven’t you blessed me?

Just when you think He is giving you the answer, He pulls back the royal curtain of Eternity, and states, “Please pull over to the side and wait a while longer.” This one frustrated me to no end, made mad, made me want to give up, made me want to holler; that is, until the clerk brought out my sandwich...Then, the revelation became clear.

Do you know why the Lord has put you on the side?

Do you know why you have had to wait for this blessing longer than before?

Do you know why He has put you through more this time than ever?

Do you know why it seems like you have had to go through more tears, more pains, and more struggling this time? Because this blessing is a Special Sauce Blessing! This is an Overflowing, Pressed Down, and Shaken Together Blessing! You made a Special Order and God has been putting together a Special Sauce Blessing for you and He has to prepare it for you!

That mate you wanted ... He’s putting together a Special Sauce!
That job you wanted . . . He’s putting together a Special Sauce!
That financial blessing . . . He’s putting together a Special Sauce!
That peace on the job . . . He’s putting together a Special Sauce!
That deeper anointing . . . He’s putting together a Special Sauce!
That promotion . . . . He’s putting together a Special Sauce!
That Baby........................ He’s putting together a Special Sauce!

For I know the thoughts I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you hope and a future......Jeremiah 29:11. How many people have driven away before the clerk brought their food, and how many people have missed their blessings because they did not wait? Hang on in there. Keep on waiting. You made a Special Order, now wait on God’s Special Sauce! “But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk, and not faint.”...Isaiah 40:31.

They who wait shall receive a Special Sauce!

So I've got it... I'm waiting for my "Special Sauce". The 2 day news is bad. It hurts my heart to know we may be waiting even longer than my longest prediction. I'm beginning to appreciate those friends of ours that ask "Have you heard any news?" as opposed to "When are you getting the baby?". I'm sure I'll have more bad days but coming across this today on one of my support groups was very special. I felt that God was indeed sending me a message. So strangely, I feel uplifted rather than down in the dumps over the news today. I hope this post can do the same for anyone else out there feeling down.


Susan said...

Thank you, thank you for that. I needed to hear those words after the last couple of days and the rotten news we all recieved. I always try and remember that everything is in God's time, not mine, but it is hard to live by sometimes.

All the best to you and Geoff!

Dannye said...

wanda, thank you...i have been feeling like I am never going to be a mother...heck i'm not even through the review room yet or so my agency has reported thus far...and it hurts to watch others who have children and their complaints of how long it is taking as I patiently wait for my first...but then when I am feeling the lowest of lows...I see your post...and I feel a real sense of peace and the hurt subsides I thank you from deep down!!!

Wanda and Geoff said...

Susan and Dannye,
I'm glad this post was able to help others. That is what I was hoping for as I needed some peace myself. I've been able to face the future with hope. We're all going to come out of this much stronger!


Alyson & Ford said...

Yes, we need patience to hear what God has in store for us. The wait is there for us to take care of other things and to live life to the fullest through love and gratitude.

Thank you for the great post