Talk about devine intervention...
We recieved two invitations this week for a baby's first birthday party and then a "girl's afternoon off" jewelry party. Turns out both parties are in a remote area of our county on the SAME street! Keep in mind, we have totally kept Lexi secluded almost completely to our home since a few weeks after we came home from China.
I awoke this morning worried because for the first time all week, I remembered that the little girl turning 1 was the daugher of a friend at work that Lexi just LOVED the few times I took her to my school. She literally left me and pursued David. To everyone else it was "cute", to us it was like an alarm. We realized immediately that she was NOT bonding to us nearly as much was we thought. Then we began to seek help and advice. The advice was avoid social situations as well as allowing other people other than us to pick her up or do any kind of need for her. We have been doing this every since. I rarely take Lexi out in public. We did take her to church on Easter but I kept her with us and only when she got restless, I took her to the nursery and stayed with her.
Today was a great test. We were invited to Emma's first birthday party and accepted. I decided that if Lexi still reacted to David as a caregiver we would take her home but she surprised us and was clingy among strangers. She eventually would venture out but came right back to us. The book we have been reading refers to this as "parent juice" (basically a reassurance to the child that Mommy or Daddy are there for you). Lexi would try to explore but soon retreat to us. It was exactly what we needed to see. A sure sign that she is bonding with us.
Then on the way home we stopped at the second invite but yet did not hang around very long. We knew Lexi's schedule was being totally disruppted and wanted to get her home. But she was entertaining, friendly, and pleasant. We enjoyed getting away from the house a bit and in the end came away feeling better about our bonding process. It was a good day!