Sunday, February 07, 2010

Super Bowl Sunday?

It's Super Bowl Sunday right??? Oh yes... but yet, it was in my mind overshadowed by once again Lj. She's had a cold for a week now and we are knee deep in Tax Season 2010 which means Daddy is working a LOT! Don't think for a second Lj hasn't noticed. Every night this week, she has wanted her Daddy to put her to bed and even on occasion got mad when I put her there instead of her Dadddy. This weekend, she woke up and called for "Da Da" every morning. It's not a competition in our house for sure for who gets her affections but it does sometimes make me wonder why she most often chooses him over me. Well, tonight at bedtime (her Daddy's turn mind you) she had no objection when I took her and began the "night-night" routine with her telling all the pictures on the mantel good night down to kissing the frog good-night. She didn't beg for Geoff or reach and cry as she does when she wants him. She just let me take her.

We sat in the rocker and she initiated our nightly prayer. This is so sweet! Then she laid her head down and tried to relax. We rocked and rocked. After awhile I asked her if she was ready for me to put her to bed and her answer was "no". So we kept rocking. We rocked and rocked and sang songs... and rocked and sang songs. I asked her again if she was ready for me to put her to bed and again her answer was "no". At one point she began to get itchy legs (cold, dry weather) and we went looking for lotion. Geoff brought us some and we put it on. She settled down and relaxed and eventually went to sleep. She let me massage her legs and help her relax.

I swear in so many ways I wonder if as soon as they matched us in China if my "genetics" didn't just jump into her. I have problems going to sleep and Geoff rubs my legs until I sleep on those rough nights. And just last week, when she was sick I told him to beware if we were both really sick at the same time because she IS so needy when sick, just like ME. He laughed and said that he had thought the same thing but had not said it so he wouldn't hurt my feelings. (No hurting here... I know I'm a big baby when sick!)

As I rocked, massaged, and sang to Lexi tonight I began realize that she is still bonding with me... us. Even after almost a year. She is still bonding and tonight was a prime example of how those special moments sneak up on us. We were invited to go to my sister's tonight for Super Bowl Sunday but I decided last night that we should not go because of how needy Lexi had been with Geoff and here I sit tonight grateful that I WAS home not watching the football game but instead rocking my sweet daughter bonding even more deeply than ever before.

I don't think that biological parents think about bonding the way that adoptive parents do. We constantly worry that we are not doing the right thing or not recognizing signs of problems. I'm a member of a Yahoo group of parents who have problems with bonding so I'm familiar with how bonding problems can occur at ANY stage of adoption. So when I see such strong signals of bonding of Lexi and me, I just embrace it and appreciate each second. So.... is it Super Bowl Sunday??? or Super Bonding Sunday???? I prefer the latter.

1 comment:

Carolyn Smiley said...

I missed your company but even I would choose rocking her over a football game! I remember last summer rocking her to sleep and the feeling that comes all over you while you are holding a sleeping baby. I never wanted to put her down! She is precious and those moments are the best. Enjoy them while you can!