Wednesday, November 30, 2005

My invisible thread ties me to Lexi

"An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but will never break." -Chinese Proverb
I think this Chinese Proverb is something I need to remember all the time. Today was a rough day. I was a bit depressed last night and then had trouble sleeping. Those who know me know that lack of sleep is not a good thing for me... when I got to work today, I stopped in to tell my friend Susan the news of the delay. Being sleep deprived, disappointed, and depressed, I had a mini melt down. (It's been so long since I cried sad tears) Well, over the course of the day, I've made myself have an attitude adjustment and this proverb seems especially fitting right now. Regardless of time... we will go get Lexi. As I talked to several friends today, I keep hearing their attempts to cheer me up. I heard, "have you thought of another country... have you thought of adopting from the local department of family and children services, have you thought of a surrogate?" I know my friends mean well. Most of them have been through this baby journey with me over the past 3 years. And their questions did enable me to think a bit more clearly through my disappointed mood. I feel so strongly that it is God's plan for us to adopt from China. I feel a connection to this child who has yet to be born. I feel this IS our destiny. So after having my day and a half of pouting, I've decided to look at the positive things of having the wait longer.
1. If we end up going next December like I suspect, I will get two extra weeks of leave (teacher's winter holidays fall then) and will not spend two of my adoption leave weeks in China. (This realization came from my dear friend Samantha).
2. If we end up going in January of '07, maybe we will get to see Chinese New Year in China!
3. I will have plenty of time to spoil my grandchild before becoming spoiling my new baby. (That is totally weird)
4. I'll be around when the grandchild is born and will be able to help my daughter through the first few weeks and months.
5. We just might see snow in China.
Now ... how is that for seeing the glass half-full ??

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