We know we are missing a few days... blogging in China is a struggle. We are always so tired by the time Lexi goes down that we just go right behind her. I am up tonight I guess because I napped with Lexi this morning. Yesterday was the roughest day of all for me. By the end of the night I was in Mommy Meltdown and could barely hold myself together. We have been sight-seeing daily since we got Lexi and it is wonderful but.... BUT it is also hard as you try to adjust to a baby that you are only beginning to know as well as a baby adjusting to US. We are only now understanding her routines and are working hard to keep her on a schedule but yesterday was like this...
We got up Skyped with family as we tried to get ready for breakfast. It takes us so long to get ready in the mornings because we are always talking and showing off our little dream come true. Once again, we ended up rushing to breakfast and then to meet the guide. We drove to a local park and walked around with the baby enjoying the beautiful scenery and enjoying watching the Chinese families play in the park. We also watched brides doing photo shoots. It was peaceful. UNTIL lunch. Lunch was delicious (don't even ask me what we ate but we ate) but Lexi has been going into Baby Meltdown in restaurants. We managed to get out without too much disruption but it was difficult. We brought her back to the hotel and pushed her in the stroller until she began to nap. I went right behind her and napped as well. Then we met our guide around 6:30 for dinner. We drove to the restaurant. One the way I knew she was on her way to meltdown. I knew it was coming and when it comes there is no stopping it. As soon as we sat down, LJ started. She cried and cried and cried. Nothing worked. Not the bunny that she uses to comfort herself... not the crackers she loves... not sitting in Mommy's lap (and there's no point in even trying Daddy when she reaches this point). The guide tried... the waitresses tried. Lexi just cried and cried. No tears just crying and slapping at my face. I was so upset but I was trying to contain myself. Lexi only stopped crying when we got up to leave. The meal seemed to last forever and ever!!!! By the time we got to the hotel I was the one in tears. Geoff took Lexi to play and I called my Mom. I needed her soothing voice and advice to calm me! You are never too old to listen to you mom! I emailed my friends who have their children and confirmed my suspicions... crowded loud rooms are too much stimulation for Lexi. She is not used to it and regardless of weather she enjoyed or orphanage or not, she is grieving for her "life". She has not known anything else and suddenly here we are taking her away from the only life she has ever known. Geoff got her to bed and let me calm my self as I was so upset and just needed a break. She went to bed without a peep.
So today... we began with lessons learned. Less Skyping and making the Skype sessions shorter. Taking turns more often and we cancelled our sight-seeing for today. Instead, Lexi and I went back to bed after breakfast and rested. Lexi sat in a high chair at the White Swan for the first time today so we tried it again at lunch at Lucy's. Lucy's is also a calm place to eat (like the White Swan) and there she sat in the high chair again. She is like her Daddy and loves french fries! Afterwards, we headed to the playroom again and played until we had to go get a diaper change. Later we walked around the hotel taking pictures of all the beautiful things here. Lexi gnawed at an apple and finally fell asleep in the stroller for another nap. I agreed to go to dinner with the guide but this time on my terms... we stayed on the island and went to a quiet Italian Restaurant. Again, Lexi sat in the high-chair and happily munched on another apple. Then we headed back to the playroom again.
She went down easily again tonight and I think we ALL feel calmer and more relaxed. I have learned that although Lexi appears to be doing well and is bonding with both of us, she has a way to go to get past this major change in her life. I pray that our flight home will not upset her. Crowded noisy places seem to push her over the edge and then she does all that she knows to do to deal with it which is cry and hit. Today she was a happy little girl all day and that made me feel so much better. I knew there would be rocks in the road in adoption but I really don't think anything, or anyone can prepare you for it fully. You can only take it one day at a time and sometimes... minute by minute. But I can with 100% certainty say... she is worth it!
Now for some random cuteness!
We bought this outfit a shop here on the Island. It is hard to believe our little peanut can wear size 3 months! Here she is with her Lexi Lion that we bought her from Pottery Barn Kids a few years ago.
This girl loves her stacking blocks!
This girl can make a toy out of anything!
There's nothing cuter than a sleeping baby! Especially our sleeping baby! Let me pinch myself to make sure this is still real!