This is pretty much a "rant" post. I post it in honor of my first daughter, Sara, and her two beautiful boys, Brennen and Christopher. Why? Well, that's the easy part. Her father has yet to do even as much as a free online Christmas card to her and her family. No phone call, no family plan, no presents... NOTHING! He's not homeless, poor, or mentally ill. He's as capable as anyone who reads my blog. He's an example of WHY I'm not with him.
The part that really burns my bum is that Sara is his ONLY biological child. I have the love of both a biological child and an adoptive child. He has ONLY one biological child and then children who are a part of his life as long as he is married to their Mother. Last Christmas he was present and available after a divorce from wife #2. Everyone who knew them just knew that his treatment of Sara was due to HER (me included) but this year he remarried and didn't even tell Sara he was getting married until the DAY after. Recently, he and his new wife bought a tanning salon. He has had the presence of mind to ask her to work for free in exchange to TAN and bring the boys to work with her. She did this in some sort of distorted way of trying to gain some relationship with him. Well... Christmas rolls around... no phone call... no plans... no Christmas card... NOTHING!
You can say that the Mama Bear in me is present but it irritates me to no end to know that he in essence ignored his own biological child and his only biological grandchildren. I promise it is not about gifts. Christmas is in my mind about God's greatest gift to us. His only son sent to take away our sins and give us eternal life in heaven. We celebrate Christmas as a time that God gave us Jesus. We celebrate with family during this time and give gifts as an expression of our love for them. For him to not give a single thought to Sara and her kids just grates my last nerve. Sure she is 27 years old but to me she will always be my first little girl. And those precious babies born to her are as precious as she is. Instead the person he choose to express his affections to is a family that he has spent less than a year with. How sad for him that he can't recognize the special daughter he already has!
It's really hard when you become a parent. You really feel you must protect your child no matter what, no matter their age. You don't see them as adults, you see them as your child. You want everyone in their life to love and show affection the same way you do. I feel this way with both my daughters. I feel this way about my grandsons as well. And when "family" is involved... it's harder to stomach. Biological or not... family is family. Each night as we take Lexi to bed, we look at the picture above our mantel and say "goodnight family". Family is important but it takes ALL members of a family to communicate and give and take to make it work. No one wants all carbon copies of each member but respect and love is necessary. And when people can't make that work... I just feel so sorry for them. I'm in no way saying he should NOT be appreciating his New family but in no way should he ignore the one he has. I feel no difference in the love I have for Sara or Lexi. They are my daughters. Geoff feels the same way. He loves them both as if they were our own flesh and blood. That is the mark of a true father. Anyone who ignores the preciousness of either of my daughters will get the same reaction as I have tried to convey in my post. You can't get me without either one of them. In fact, we are all family... me, Geoff, Sara, Lexi, Brennen, and Christopher and extended family as well.
EX better not run into me anytime soon.... and I'm fighting the urge to call him and make him cry!
Sorry for the rant... but this Mama Bear is ticked off!