Saturday, June 12, 2010

Think I’m going to cry… okay, so I am …

Here’s the scenario…  Geoff runs out for an errand and I’m trying to keep Lexi up until her Daddy gets home.  I called Mom on the phone to give her an update on Lj’s potty training day.  While talking to Mom, Lexi crawled in my lap and was fussing a little and I asked her if she was sleepy. She said yes but I figured she would make it until Geoff came home.  I was talking to Mom and noticed her pointing out the people in the pictures on our mantel.  We do this every night.  Then we kiss the frogs on the TV wall unit.  Now I feel like the worst Mommy ever because she went to her bedroom while I was talking to Mom and she WENT TO BED ALL ON HER OWN!  When I figured out that she was not coming out, she was completely asleep!  I wanted to wake her up but Mom told me to not wake her and mess her up.  I swear I am NOT ready for this.  Sara was in 7th grade before I stopped tucking her in and I only stopped then because she wouldn’t clean her room and it made me mad every night and I did not want to put her to bed aggravated with her.  Lexi is not even 2 1/2 years old and has only been sleeping in the toddler bed 3 nights and she is putting herself to bed!  Where is the night time ritual?  Has the ritual been all about us and not her all along?  I really, really hope this is a fluke!  It already hit home  in January when she gave up the bottle so easily and now is in a toddler bed.  I’m not ready for her to grow up this quickly or be nearly this independent.  She’s our baby Lexi! 

One thing that has become apparent very loud and clear this week is that we are bonded as a family.  Where we wanted it immediately upon our adoption in China I honestly have to say it took time.  I know we’ve been bonded for quite a while now but think back on this time last year when we let Mom keep her overnight for our 10th anniversary and for a few days of our vacation.  This week when she had to be away just overnight for our floor replacement, it drove us nuts.  That night we were both wanting to go get her at 10:00.  To think at this point that last year we could let her go away for a few days is insane. It’s driving us BOTH nuts to know that she could actually go to bed without our family ritual.  She is certainly in our hearts and our minds and part of our life that we can not live without.  I know to some people who read this it is hard to believe that bonding is such a process but in all fairness I need to say it and publish it to help others in our shoes understand that bonding takes time and work.  Our work will never be done but we can say with 100% certainty that we love our Lexi unconditionally and are so blessed to have her in our lives.  God has blessed us so much!

And Geoff did come home and go into her room and kiss her forehead.  I’ll do the same.  And I hope that she does not put herself to bed again any time soon. 

June 172


sfennell said...

Oh...Juwanda..feel good about it because u know she feels safe and secure with Mommy and Daddy. BUT I can relate and I would have been tempted to wake her up too. Heck..I still wake Macy up sometimes just to give her a hug when Mommy needs a hug the worst! Love ya!

Wanda, Geoff and Lexi said...

Thanks so much Susan! I had not thought about it that way. I guess it is yet another sign that our little Lexi has bonded with us as well! Okay, so you have given my permission to got hug her and wake her up, I'm going to listen to my Mom and let her sleep. I will hug her extra hard in the morning! Thanks for understanding me and our complex family dynamic so well.

Love you too!

Carolyn Smiley said...

What a big step in her small life. She has blessed our entire family as well. I love that little girl as if she were my very own! You and Geoff have done an amazing job with her.

Wanda, Geoff and Lexi said...

Thanks Carolyn! She has blessed us all and I know our family would not be complete without her! I certainly know you love her!